Crazy men

My favorite kind of people to get would have to be the table full of crazy, middle-age men. They absolutely crack me up. Last night, I had a table of four middle-aged men. From the start, they are flirting and joking around with me. I just kind of roll with the flow and laugh at the jokes even though they weren't really funny. At one point, one of the guys told me that if I would sit in his friends lap he would give me twenty dollars. No, I didn't do it but it was tempting because I was broke. Not much usually surprises me. But, when they are ordering, one of them actually said something that made me almost lose it. One of the guys ordered a chicken sandwich. He said that he didn't want any onions on it. Then he goes on to say that if his plate comes out with any onions on it, then his pants were coming off and he was going to burn all of his money. Wait, what??? Yes, he actually said this and he said it as seriously as he could. I told my manager what he said, and she made sure that his plate DID have onions on it when it went out, because she wanted to see what he would actually do. Sadly, he just laughed it off and kept his pants on. I mean, how funny would it have been to actually see a middle-aged man take off his pants in a restaurant because he had onions on his plate?

Short People

OK, so I get my first table of the day. I walk up to greet them and before I can even get out a hello, this old lady looks at me and says," well, aren't you just a short little thing." Really? I'm twenty-four years old. I have been short my whole life. I think that I know that I am short, you don't have to rub it in. The bad part about it was that when she said it, she scrunched her nose up like it was a horrible thing. I just wanted to say back to her "my, aren't you an old thing." But of course, I would have gotten in trouble for that. She also didn't leave my a very good tip. I guess she just didn't like short people.